One day after John McCain formally announced his campaign, Governor Bush, speaking from his jail cell, dramatically endorsed the Arizona Senator.

"Our positions are the same on virtually all the issues. But he's got decades of experience on me. When it comes to the matter of character there's no contest: his was forged in the Hanoi Hilton saying 'No' to the Vietcong, mine in the Houston Hilton saying 'Yes' to more nose candy than you can possibly imagine."

"His character was forged in the Hanoi Hilton saying 'No' to the Vietcong, mine in the Houston Hilton saying 'Yes' to more nose candy than you can possibly imagine."

"He flew fighters over Southeast Asia, I flew them in Texas. He's got a solid voting record on all the issues going back two decades. I formed my opinions on most of them only two WEEKS ago."

"The ONLY reason I'm even a contender against McCain is all the money I've been given by special interests, which just proves McCain right on the one issue where we do differ: campaign finance reform."

"McCain does have one problem, however: His face. Not quite as bad as Steve Forbes, but still, there's something deeply unsettling there. That grin of his is positively terrifying."

"Gore's going to give the ladies those puppy dog eyes, while McCain gives them the willies telling torture stories with that crazed look on his face."

"The American people have an embarrassing tendency to elect the pretty boy: Just ask Dad or Uncle Bob. Gore's going to give the ladies those puppy dog eyes, while McCain gives them the willies telling torture stories with that crazed look on his face. This is why I'm going to stay in the race and use my war chest to campaign on behalf of John McCain. He needs my help and I'm going to give him $60 million dollars worth of help."

Bush said he was planning a series of Perot-style infomercials in support of McCain. Having fired all his corrupt consultants, and being confined to jail, he has no campaign expenses of his own, he said.