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Governor Bush has decided the voters deserve answers about his "lost years" (1968-74). To that end, campaign HQ is publishing, in a serialized format, a supplement to W's autobiography.

Episode 1

Episodes: Intro |  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6 (updated 6/23)

We were somewhere in New Haven around the edge of campus when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe we should head back to the dorms." Then suddenly, a Volkswagen van, painted rainbow colors, howled by us with beautiful hippy chicks hanging out the windows yelling, "Viva la Revolution!" It was the spring of 1968, we had just finished Yale, and I turned to my buddy and said, "Somehow this doesn't seem like the time to join the secret ruling-class conspiracy."

He grinned, seeming to understand. "George," he said, "drugs are is free...this is the beginning of a whole new era in human civilization. The next ten years are going to be one amazing party...don't miss this!"

He wanted me to come on some road trip with him to LA or Vegas or something. I told him I was down with the party of the century, but that I needed to be properly situated first. "My trust fund is different from yours...mine has certain strings attached."

"Strings???" he asked incredulously, as though I was talking nuclear physics or something. And by this time he was looking a bit lightheaded himself.

"Look man, my Dad's running for Senate right now, and my grandfather was a famous senator, and his father was a powerful admiral, and it goes on like that all the way back to the pilgrims, you know? All eyes are on us, and now there's a war on.... Aw, just forget it, it's a ruling class thing--you wouldn't understand," I said, giving up.

"Oh yes, the WAR!" he said, as if I was talking about a long-forgotten missed appointment, "But what's that got to do with us?"

I pressed on, "My Dad's running for if I sit the thing out people will cry foul. The bottom line is, if I don't compromise on this, I'll be cut off."

"Well what the hell are you going to do? You're not going anywhere near that meat grinder are you?...ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?" He started jumping around getting very excited. The uppers were definitely getting the upper hand. I considered breaking out the reds to balance things out a bit, but then I just tried reasoning with him.

"No man, listen: I'm going to fly jets in Texas."

"Huh?" He was intrigued enough by that to stand still and listen for a second.

"I'm going to fly jets man!...freaking SUPERSONIC jets! the desert!"

"Holy shit! That's beautiful...did you say jets? Are you really talking about jets, though?" He was so moved by what I was saying that he was grabbing me by the neck and shaking me as he asked for confirmation that what he heard was not a drug-induced hallucination.

"And I only have to show up on weekends...It'll keep Dad off my back while I spend the rest of the time partying and chasing women, and best of all I get to fly jets!"

"Holy shit! Authenticity AND time to party! That's quite a setup Mr. Bush! Jets! That's pretty damn amazing. I gotta admire you for that. Wow, I wonder what a mescaline rush is like when your breaking the sound barrier..."

"We'll soon see, my friend! We'll soon see!"

Tune in tomorrow when W gets his graduation check for $17,000, a car--and some other supplies--and goes on a mission to sign up for the Guard.

Please email suggestions--or full episodes--to If I use your episode, you get a by-line. If I get a bunch, I'll start posting good ones on a separate page. It would be fun to have a few different plot lines unfolding at the same time.
Radio ads produced for by Ingrid Behrens & Brendan O'Brien:

"Big Brother"
.5 MB
"Death Watch"
.5 MB
"A Wing and a Prayer"
.5 MB
"Thin Skins"
.5 MB
"Unkindest Cuts"
1.1 MB
"Education Reformer"
"At the Rodeo"
.5 MB

Priceless footage of W publicly picking his nose -- right from ESPN coverage of a Rangers game when W was part-owner.
W preparing for a tough debate
(For best results right-click the links and choose "Save Target As..." then click "Open" when download finishes.)

For more info on the ad campaign click here.

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Other Political sites:
Harry Browne:
Libertarian for Prez


News sites on Bush:

Texas Observer's
Skeleton Closet
Bush Watch Cocaine Feature
Austin Chronicle
Texas Observer

Other Bush Parodies or Informative sites:
[if yours isn't listed here let me know]
GWBush Art
Unauthorized Bush(Sr.) Bio
Bush is the Antichrist (with a well-reasoned argument)
The Bush Body Count
Another "questionable" Bush site
The Serial President and
Bush Kills Web Sites
The Queen Mother
(Ma Bush on kids and drugs)
Bush Song Page
GWBush: Hypocrisy on Parade

Drug War links:
Frontline's "Snitch"
The November Coalition
Family Watch
Common Sense for Drug Policy
Cop Vs. CIA: LA Cop takes
on CIA over drug running.
Movement Against Corruption
and Complicity
Forfeiture Endangers American Rights

Also by the creator of this Web site: